Then and Now

Why am I doing this I ask myself?

Well, I started a blog back in 2011 and I loved it. 

 

Then… life was different... small kids, a husband, full time blossoming career and a lifetime of happiness in front of me. Nothing but time to raise my family, work and shoot for the future I always dreamed of. I was 29 then…. now I am 40, 41 next week to be fair. Boy did the world have a different plan for me. Have you ever been blindsided? I mean truly blindsided, like one day you go to sleep, and the road is going straight, as you planned and expected, and the next thing you know you wake up and there is a sharp left turn that then jags right and suddenly you are hanging off a cliff wondering what the hell just happened? That was what the next 10 years of my life had in store for me. Would I change it? Nope. Would I like to have done a few hundred things differently? Yep. 

 

Now, I am almost 41, as I told you, and have a happiness I never could have imagined. If someone had shown me in a crystal ball back in 2011 explaining where I would be today and everything that led me to right now, I would have laughed in their face. Hysterically to say the least! To say that every painstaking trial, tribulation, white knuckle day, heartache, “never going to make it”, “how did this happen”, “what am I going to do”, and WTF?! moment got me here today is a massive understatement. 

 

From then until now I have lived, loved, travelled, explored possibilities, laughed with my kids, at my kids, at myself, with my friends and at them too. I have made huge mistakes and huge strides in real life, emotionally and spiritually. Managed to live my 20’s in my 30’s and even my 50’s in my 30’s a time or two. When I look back from then all the way until now, I don’t remember how bad the hard stuff was and how it felt because there has been a lot more sunshine than rain, more smiles, laughs, joy, and love than pain and heartache. When it’s bad it’s bad but when it’s good, well, it wipes out the bad enough to outshine it, not forget it but forget how much it hurt in that moment. 

 

All those moments that made me sing out loud, laugh at myself, warm my heart and smile when I went to bed at night dull out the then and remind me just how lucky I am for the now.

XOXO April